Some days are terrible🙅‍♀️


The most difficult task in the world is to still the constant chatter in the head; the imaginary conversations about things that happened in the past start playing back and forth. And instead of embracing the new day I am lost somewhere in the past, rationalising; making up sentences that I should have said; thinking of the actions I should have taken and trying to make right the wrong. Am I successful? No! The result is anger and frustration all over again about the things happened ages ago, not forgiven, not forgotten. Start of the day; already drained of energy, irritated and angry.

How do I stop this? The thoughts are recurring, thinking about certain people sets off this uncontrollable chain reaction of thoughts and I end up feeling miserable. The past takes over the present, ruins it and makes the future unbearable.

“Beware of your thoughts for they become words, beware of your words for they become actions, beware of your actions for they become habits, beware of your habits for they become character, beware of your character for it becomes your destiny.”
Diane Von Furstenberg (DVF)

On the way to the Matrimandir at Auroville, Pondicherry
On the way to the Matrimandir at Auroville, Pondicherry

I am not alone; there are others who feel trapped in the vicious cycle of thoughts from the past that play on auto pilot for days on end. Maybe from another person’s point of view, the things are a mere molehill and I am simply making a mountain of it; for lack of nothing else to think about. Maybe…it’s true; if there was a urgent matter to attend, then these thoughts would cease and energy will be concentrated on getting the task done.

So do we need a distraction every morning to keep these destructive thoughts at bay? Work is a distraction. But when the mind is whirling around, calming it down and convincing it to focus on the task at hand is extremely difficult.

It’s a cliche but true that action is the antidote, but talking myself into taking action is not easy at all; the mind is used to the unpleasant and numbing comfort of watching this rehearsed drama and asking it to stop and concentrate on the present is difficult. Sometimes, even getting out of bed feels like a challenge.

Am struggling, but I have won in the past and will win again.  But somedays, I loose the battle and those are the terrible days.

“You know who’s gonna give you everything? Yourself.”
Diane Von Furstenberg (DVF)

I don’t want this to be a negative post; I do break free. I start with a mundane task, like folding clothes or clearing the table or straightening up a room – it requires no thinking and it has a calming effect. Once the task is done, there is a surge of dopamine, a feel good factor; I then move onto the next, more challenging task.

Another way is to talk to someone, not about my problems; but just hearing out their day and routine helps; the chain of thoughts in the head is broken and I can carry on.

“Never, ever, blame others for what befalls you, no matter how horrible it might be. Trust you, and only you, to be responsible for your own life.”
Diane Von Furstenberg (DVF)

I have used quotes by DVF – the lady who made the iconic wrap dress, now aged 70 and still lives life the way she has envisaged. Her journey is an inspiration.

Wishing everyone a bright and happy day🌤.

Till next post, take care !!


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